
Is ADHD a catastrophe or could it even be an opportunity?
Children with ADHD generally do not have a good reputation: They are said to be nuisances and troublemakers who cannot follow rules and thus make life difficult for themselves and their parents. Naturally, teachers and classmates must also suffer under the whirlwind.
In guides about ADHD, we often read that children with ADHD are disadvantaged compared to "normal" children. Because they cannot concentrate and get into trouble due to their impulsivity, they are not as successful as they could be based on their potential.
In addition, it is often read that children and adolescents with ADHD are more frequently involved in accidents and that "drug careers" are not uncommon.
There's some truth to all of this, and it sounds terrible.
At the same time, there are many reports that children with ADHD can take a successful—albeit unconventional—path. An ADHD diagnosis does not mean the end of the world! On the contrary, if parents and important caregivers recognize the potential the child possesses, they have the best chances of becoming a great, successful, and happy person.
What distinguishes children with ADHD from other children?
Children with ADHD stand out because they attract attention through intense emotional outbursts, loud expressions of will, persistence that borders on stubbornness, and their lively temperament. At the latest in school, there are regular reports that the child cannot fit in and is difficult to manage.
But are these children disturbed or even sick because they especially challenge their parents and other people? As a mother of four children with ADHD looking for a satisfactory answer, I consulted pediatricians, scientists, and therapists and worked my way through stacks of books on ADHD.
Even back then, I found it difficult to accept that children who didn't operate the way adults wanted were quickly labeled with ADHD. And at the same time, they didn't receive the support they urgently needed.
What is ADHD?
The causes of ADHD
The causes of ADHD are multifactorial. So several factors come together when a child exhibits behavior typical of ADHD: genetics, predisposition, environment, experiences, increased consumption of electronic media, and also diet. All these factors play a role.
The main symptoms of ADHD
Let's first look at the classic symptoms of ADHD from the ICD10 (the most important, globally recognized classification system for medical diagnoses).
ADHD = Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity
It is about attention disorders in connection with hyperactivity.
Attention Deficit: Activities are abruptly interrupted and not completed; low concentration and highly distractible.
Impulsivity: Lack of impulse control and low frustration tolerance, actions are not considered
Hyperactivity: Excessive restlessness, pacing, inability to sit still, constant loud and rapid speaking
The ADHD Diagnosis
The ADHD diagnosis can relieve us, because we finally know what is going on with our child! It's not our upbringing that is the cause of the difficulties we experience daily with our child, but rather they suffer from a psychiatric disorder.
If we know that our child has ADHD, we can better understand their behavior and respond more empathetically. When advised by a pediatrician or psychologist who is knowledgeable about ADHD and takes a holistic approach, a treatment plan tailored to the child's needs can begin. This almost always includes cognitive behavioral therapy, exercise therapy, and parent training where parents learn how to deal with the challenges of ADHD. For severe forms of ADHD, medications - stimulants - are often prescribed to achieve quick relief and make therapy possible.
Strengths of People with ADHD
In addition to the described characteristics and challenges, most children and even adults with ADHD can demonstrate particular strengths. Strengths that they should be aware of and proud of. They are part of the potential that can make these individuals very successful.
- Hyperfocus = Ability for flow, increased ability to concentrate
- High sensitivity = high sensory and perceptual ability
- Emotionality = pronounced ability for empathy
- Negotiation skills = good negotiation abilities in business and everyday settings
- Caring = Strong empathy and desire to help
- Creativity = often artistic talent
- Openness = does not feel bound by norms, takes new paths
- Assertiveness = often strong leadership
- Risk-taking = Courage and no fear of unconventional paths
Building a Great Relationship with the ADHD Child:
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Offer your child a safe haven by accepting them just as they are, with all their weaknesses and strengths.
- Be clear in your expectations and consistent when your child breaks rules. Because this provides your child with security.
- Experience beautiful moments with your child every day.
- Make yourselves comfortable together: Reading a book, crafting, cooking, gardening, playing, watching a movie... Whatever brings you joy. Be sure to plan this time firmly into your daily routine!
The most important thing at the end:
As parents of a child with ADHD, we often feel overwhelmed and therefore look mainly for quick solutions.
I understand that perfectly, yet I ask for your patience. Because accompanying a child with ADHD as they grow up is hard work and cannot be compared to raising a "normal" child. You are the most important person in your child's life. That's why it's so important that you take good care of yourself, so that you remain strong and can take the wind out of the sails of stormy situations.
from Heike Hahn
Sources
Hahn, H. (2021). My Child Has ADHD. How to Manage Daily Life and Be Happy Together. Humboldt Verlag, 1st Edition.
Sheedy Kurcinka, M. (2020). How Difficult Children Become Amazing Adults: The Parenting Guide for Especially Challenged Parents. mvg Verlag, 6th Edition, Munich.
World Health Organization (2019). Pocket Guide to the ICD-10 Classification of Mental Disorders. Dilling, H and Freyberger (Eds.). Hogrefe Publishing Group, 9th Edition.
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