Single parenting – Juggling work, household, and childcare

Single Parent – Juggling Work, Household, and Childcare

Welcome to the exciting world of single parents! Single mothers and fathers effortlessly juggle between office deadlines, parenting, and household chores. Appointments, shopping, and private life - everything needs to be organized.

And at the same time paying attention to the children - there's hardly any time to catch your breath. But it's no secret that this lifestyle also comes with its challenges.

In this blog article, we take a look at the action-packed daily life of single parents and provide personal tips on how to handle it more calmly and creatively.

The daily morning marathon

The alarm clock rings, the day begins - but for single parents, it's not an ordinary morning. The day starts with a rigorous time management.

Waking up the kids, preparing breakfast, making lunch sandwiches, getting dressed and brushing teeth, checking school supplies – all of this has to be done in a hurry. Sometimes this requires strong nerves and a bit of magic.

Then we move on. We fight our way through the traffic to get to daycare and work on time while ensuring our children are well taken care of.

Single parent and working - a double burden that packs a punch

Most problems don't stop at the office either. Deadlines and projects pile up while our thoughts keep drifting back to our children. Is everything okay?

And then it happens: The phone rings and the teacher from the daycare informs us: The child is sick! Inner panic breaks out, but we try to stay calm.

Quickly, we find a solution to pick up our child while simultaneously informing colleagues that it is an emergency.

Single parents are today's superstars! They are flexible and adapt quickly to the current situation.

What helps us in such stressful situations

In such or similar everyday situations, the following preparatory measures should be observed:

1. First, it's important to stay as calm as possible. Becoming frantic or shouting unsettles the children and makes us feel overwhelmed.
2. Good organization is important. Prepare everything well the evening before, as much as possible (e.g., check school supplies, pick out clothes, organize appointments, etc.).
3. Plan enough time for the morning routine, get up on time, and get ready calmly to have enough time for the children.
4. Before starting the day, take some time to drink tea or coffee, and maybe even meditate for 15 minutes. This gives us a sense that we have everything under control.

Single Parent Working from Home

The home office particularly burdens single parents. The constant juggling between conference calls, emails, and the needs of the children is challenging.

My experiences show that parents often find it difficult to draw clear boundaries between work and private life, as both take place in the same space.

The constant presence of children in the home work environment is distracting and disrupts the routine work process. At the same time, we feel that we do not have enough time and attention for our children while fulfilling our professional obligations.

The lack of social contacts adds an additional burden, as we are alone at home all day. We miss the interaction with colleagues and feel lonely and occasionally overwhelmed by these diverse tasks. 

Tips and Tricks for Successful Work in the Home Office

Single parents can successfully manage working from home while supervising their children simultaneously. Only a few things need to be considered in the process:

• Setting priorities: Consider in advance what is really important today. Prioritize tasks and possibly create to-do lists to ensure that the essentials are accomplished. This applies to both our work and taking care of our children.
• Setting boundaries: The children need to know what time Mom or Dad are free and when they should not be disturbed. It's also good to work with homemade signs, for example, a STOP sign or use a telephone receiver as a sign. This way, the children know that they should not disturb now.
• Time Management Good time management is crucial. Set precise working hours during which we can focus on our tasks. These are just as important as the short breaks for ourselves or the children.
• Don't forget self-care: Unfortunately, single mothers and fathers tend to neglect themselves. But it's important to take care of ourselves. And when it gets stressful, we should take a short break (e.g., take a walk in the park with the kids, take some deep breaths and feel the body, do short conscious movement exercises for the body).

My personal tip Regular time for relaxation, physical activity, and hobbies is a must!

• Flexibility and compromises: Often we have to be flexible and make various compromises. These sometimes favor the job or adapt to the needs of the children. But it's good when we find solutions that are fair to both us and our children.
• Seeking Support: Indispensable and helpful is definitely to seek external support when necessary. Whether from other parents, Friends, family members, or professional helpers.
  My personal tip: From experience, I know how important it is to build a supportive network over time. Short-term assistance options are usually not sufficient in the long run.

The Positive Side of Working from Home

A major advantage is that we can complete our work at our own pace. Distractions from colleagues or supervisors are limited. And the stress of commuting and the time spent traveling to work are eliminated.

Another advantage is that we, as moms or dads, are always there when the children need us - whether it's for a comforting hug or an impromptu storytime session. And I personally believe that this is especially beneficial for the children.

The emotional rollercoaster for single parents

Single parents sometimes have it tough because emotions can really get mixed up. Stress, worries, and the feeling that everything is too much occur more often than you think. But there are solutions for this!

7 Tips for a Balanced Family Life

1. With the support of friends, family, and helpers, a lot can be achieved.
2. Taking time for oneself, relaxing and blowing off steam, or talking about worries and problems helps.
3. Don't be too hard on yourself and review your own requirements. Not everything has to be perfect all the time. Acknowledge your achievements and praise yourself for what has gone well.
4. A positive attitude and the ability to accept help provide relief. Allowing for weaknesses is a sign of great strength!
5. Plan and regularly engage in activities that bring fun or joy (doing sports or yoga, meeting friends, sharing positive experiences with the whole family)
6. Networking with other single parents to support each other and exchange tips. Both children and adults can benefit equally from this. The children play together while the parents exchange ideas.
7. Acquire a success diary and write down all the good deeds and experiences of the day. This makes them conscious and shows what you have achieved.

In summary, we can say: Yes, there are emotional burdens, but with the right strategies and a good support system, these difficulties can be managed very well.

How Children Benefit from Single Parents

In my work as a family counselor, I have experienced that many single parents manage to lead a wonderfully self-determined life despite multiple burdens. Initially, this often requires help or support, but it can develop well over time.

Most children usually feel comfortable among several caregivers and trusted persons. It can be observed that children often grow up much more flexibly and creatively than children in ‘normal’ family structures.

The ability to collaborate more and easily create their own networks is something children learn through play. This way, single parents can be a good role model for their children.

Health Strains Due to Multiple Burdens on Parents

The partly diverse burdens sometimes lead single mothers or fathers to the brink of exhaustion. There is hardly any time left for relaxation, friends, and leisure.

If this state of exhaustion persists longer, chronic stress can set in, which can develop into burnout. That's why daily or regular relaxation and break times in between are so important!

The increased risk of developing psychosomatic disorders and chronic pain is high. The most common symptoms are.

• Sleep Disorders
• Back and joint pain
• Headache
• Cardiovascular problems
• Depressions - Burnout

If these symptoms persist over a longer period, it is high time to seek help from a doctor or psychotherapist.

Super parents don't always have to just function.
you are allowed to be weak sometimes.

First Aid Tipps for health issuesn

If the aforementioned physical or psychological disorders persist long-term or appear from time to time:

1. Evaluate your own requirements for yourself and others. Are they all really necessary?
2. It doesn't always have to be perfect! For example, if something is left undone in the household, that's absolutely fine.
3. Be aware of what went well today. Or write it down to visualize your successes.
4. In addition, consult a doctor, therapist, or alternative practitioner and confide in them. Many herbal or naturopathic methods or remedies can help alleviate the worst symptoms.

By Anja Josten Family Counseling and Coach

famPLUS - Competent in everyday family life.