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School stress and pressure to perform: What you can do if your child is stressed
Deadlines, appointments, to-do lists: Stress is present in various forms in our society. This stress can manifest both positively – for example, as increased performance due to an adrenaline rush – and negatively. Negative stress is particularly dangerous because it can have harmful health effects, especially when it becomes chronic. But not only adults suffer from stress; children can also experience stress at a very young age. School can be a particular stress factor here. In this article, you will learn where school stress comes from and how you can help your child if they suffer from school stress.
What happens in the body during stress?
Stress, in the true sense, initially refers to specific physical and psychological reactions to particularly challenging situations. The so-called hypothalamus – a region of the brain that regulates essential vegetative functions such as food and fluid intake or the circulatory system and body temperature – activates our adrenal medulla in a stress situation, which in turn releases the hormones adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol. This hormonal surge accelerates breathing and heart rate, muscles become tense, and our senses sharpen. The body is now in a state of highest readiness to react. This physical state of alertness was crucial for our ancestors' survival, enabling them to flee or fight immediately in case of imminent danger. Biologically speaking, stress reactions are thus part of the basic physiological equipment of humans. However, they can have negative impacts, especially if these stress-induced adaptation states become chronic.
Where do school stress and pressure to perform come from?
Not only adults suffer from stress and pressure to perform, but children also often experience pressure to perform, even as early as preschool or elementary school. The transition to secondary school or the next grade level presents a particular challenge. Performance stress arises when, for example, a lot of new information has to be learned in a short time, or children do not understand the required course material. An excessive workload, fear of exams, ineffective learning behavior, overstimulation from noise and media consumption, or even too high demands from the social environment can lead to negative stress reactions, as children feel pressured and overwhelmed in these situations. Fear of bad grades and the reaction of their parents, teachers, and classmates is often the result. An additional source of danger is the so-called "social stress." This arises from pressure within the social environment itself, for example, when a child is made an outsider and/or bullied by other classmates. A poor relationship with teachers can also lead to stress reactions, as can the fact that a sibling is in the same school or even in the same class, resulting in competitive behavior.
Effects of School Stress
School stress—especially when it is persistent—affects a child's body, psyche, and behavior. It can lead to a decline in cognitive performance and, consequently, academic achievement. Deteriorating grades can thus already be a warning sign of excessive stress. Children who suffer from school stress often appear drained, demotivated, and withdrawn. In doing so, they often blame themselves for their declining performance and stress. Other common effects include: self-doubt, reduced self-esteem, tension, nervousness, feelings of shame, fear of loss, fear of school and exams which can develop into school refusal, concentration problems, sleep disorders and nightmares, as well as generally aggressive or depressive behavior.
Physically, school stress manifests primarily in stomachaches or headaches, back pain, dizziness, heart palpitations, loss of appetite, and eating disorders. The most common physical warning signals of stress in children are stomach and headaches, so in case of doubt, you should closely monitor when the symptoms occur and whether there could be a connection to school situations. An additional source of danger is so-called "social stress." This arises from pressure in the social environment itself, for example, when a child is ostracized and/or bullied by other classmates. A poor relationship with teachers can also lead to stress reactions, as can the fact that a sibling attends the same school or even the same class, resulting in competitive behavior.
Promote instead of demand
A certain amount of stress before exams or tests, for example, is normal and, as with adults, can hardly be avoided. However, if stress manifests itself permanently over a longer period through physical and psychological complaints, it should not be ignored. First of all, it is important to engage in an open dialogue with your child and ask about problems or fears. Take your child seriously and do not downplay the situation. Most importantly, stay calm and do not try to punish your child if the academic performance is insufficient. Instead, show understanding and motivate your child to strengthen their self-esteem.
Parents are often, unintentionally, themselves a potential trigger for stress and pressure to perform with their behavior. Therefore, you should always try to support your child rather than demand too much from them. Give your child the feeling that it is okay to have weaknesses and make mistakes. Provide a stable environment in which the child can express themselves without having to fear negative consequences. Also, review your own expectations: Am I demanding too much from my child? Am I putting them under too much pressure with homework or, for example, the wish for them to attend a secondary school, get a well-paid job, etc.? Even if you only want the best for your child, every child has their own pace of development and learning and needs to be treated individually. If in doubt, ask teachers for an assessment of the situation and inquire about your child's current behavior and performance level.
To avoid long-term school stress, your child should have the opportunity to learn independently. Show your child how to structure learning units in a manageable and efficient way, and help them develop an independent learning routine. Important aspects include regularity, organization of school materials, fixed homework times, and breaks. Praise your child when they have mastered something well, and if you like, you can also agree on small rewards as an incentive. Additionally, tutoring or support classes can also be helpful from time to time.
Regulated times throughout the day are generally helpful for your child to prevent stress, as they provide security and orientation. Nevertheless, make sure to leave enough room for leisure and relaxation during the day and do not overwhelm your child's free time with hobbies or other activities, as physical and mental relaxation is necessary to alleviate tension. A healthy diet, exercise, and sports activities also help to prevent potential stressful situations.
To find the exact cause of your child's school stress, you can use a stress diary, for example, where your child records what they did during the day and in which situations they felt uncomfortable or stressed. To find the individual trigger, a pediatrician or psychologist can also be consulted, because in individual cases, stress can also have intrafamilial reasons—such as parents' separation, a death, or sibling rivalry. If it's about bullying and social stress, you should definitely also involve the class teacher and trusted teachers.
Back to School After Corona
School stress in itself already represents a high burden, but due to the coronavirus pandemic, which began its course at the beginning of 2020, students in particular were exposed to a special extreme situation for a long time. Many schools were closed for several months, and even after the first steps towards reopening, normal school life was still far off. The children had to be taught at home and had few social contacts outside the family during this time. Even with the gradual easing, the form of alternating instruction in schools did not provide a clear structure and made everyday school life somewhat chaotic for children, parents, and teachers. With the return to a regular school routine, stress factors during the corona time are increasing: teachers try to make up for as much missed learning material as possible in the shortest time possible, in order to still meet the curriculum. This increases the pressure on the students even more than before. In addition, after the long period of isolation, the children first have to find their way back into school life. They have different wake-up times again, do not have their parents around them, and may be overwhelmed with the adjustment again. Teachers must now primarily ensure a good return for the children through appropriate communication or playfully - for example, with a pajama day where the entire class comes to school in pajamas - to ease the situation and reduce the tension.
Many children suffered from a lack of perspective and motivation during the Corona period. As a parent, it's especially helpful to continually encourage your child. As far as possible, you can help your child with homework and bring structure to the week by creating a weekly plan. Be understanding and always offer a listening ear for questions or problems with the new daily routine, homework, or other topics.
The school routine has changed significantly due to the pandemic and will continue to undergo shifts in the future. Prepare your child for these changes by reassuring, informing, and supporting them. Also, try to stay informed about new regulations in your district and state.
by Esther Marake
